kellyluck

There is not just one way to count your success, let me tell you a short story. I hit my mini goal so as a reward my family and I went out to eat(we also had nothing at the house to eat). We dont have much money so we just went to McDonalds. I got a number 2 which is a quarter pounder with cheese medium fries and a drink(diet coke) then I got an M&M McFlurry for dessert. I didnt eat anything else all day thank god or this would have hurt me terribley. I am going to count the trip as a success on my wiegth loss journey because it was gross, I didn’t like it at all. I use to love this food and crave the McFlurry. I was so disappointed, all I wanted was to go back in time and change my reward to a nice homeade fruit and yogurt parfait and then a glass of wine later. What was I thinking? So it is true that it just takes time to change our way of thinking and our way of eating and our old habits, so dont give up in time you can change.

I finally did it, I reached my mini goal that I thought I would never get to. It is wierd I am not as excited as I thought I would be. I guess deep down I knew I was doing good and expected it. Anyway I am still happy. I also realized earlier in the week that my goal wieght was unrealistic so I changed that also. If when I get to my goal wieght I feel I want to do more I will but for now I set it at a goal I am sure I can reach as I have done it before. I also have an incentive unlike any other, my wonderful hubby said that if I follow through with this wieght loss when we get our taxes back I can get a tummy tuck!!!! I have wanted one for 19yrs(since I had my first baby). I am so happy, a flat stomach again!

Thanks for the comment on my blog, I appreaciate you all so much. I do feel better now, thank you for reminding me of why I am doing this. I just get down sometimes when I dont get out and the stress of money is another issue adding to it all. I sometimes need to look around and be thankful for all I have rather than sour for what I dont. My life could be alot worse. I love you all for your support, I soooo wish we lived closer, with friends like I have here my life is full. Thank you.

I just need to vent some saddness here. I am a stay at home mom of a very poor family. I have not left my house in 5 days! We have no money for gas to even go visit anyone let alone money to go to the store. I have almost no food in my house and have a week to go before we get another pay check. My husband goes to work early and when he comes home he falls asleep in the chair. My friends seem to be to busy to spend anytime with someone as poor as myself. So why am I worried about my appearance? I haven’t even gotten dressed today. I have no social life except for this and that saddens me even more(nothing personal you guys are great). It’s a no wonder this is so hard when all I have to do is sit on the couch and watch tv. I have no adult conversation to speak of and I am miserable. I have been trying to get a part time job but no luck thus far. I just want to be able to get out and see people. I feel very alone. I get mad at my hubby and really it is not his fault he is tired but I am alone all the time. I wake up go to the living room sit there all day and return to my bed, what a life. This sucks!

Okay I have cut out all the “processed” foods I can and all in all I dont miss them. What I do miss is having something in the spot on my plate where the mac and cheese used to sit or the mashed potatoes and gravy. I have switched to more veggies and I eat baked red potatoes on occasion but I am getting bored with it. So I was thinking rice, but I dont like it much. Does anyone have good ways to flavor rice with natural flavorings? I dont want to use gravy or butter, to much fat and sodium.  If anyone has any good ideas please let me know.

I did it!!!!! I stopped obsessing, got off the treadmill and took a break from all the exercise this week, continued my good eating habits and added watching my sodium. I got on the scale this morning and I lost 3lbs!!! I was so excited I jumped off the scale screaming and dancing, finally results for all of my hard work. Thank you all so much for listening to me whine and cry last weekend and for all of your good advice and encouragement. I have renewed strength and ambition and I think tomorrow I will start an exercise regimen again. I am on my way and I will get there.

I went grocery shopping this evening and checked all my labels for the usual…carbs, protien, fat, fiber, calories, and now sodium. My selections are getting slimmer and slimmer, and my wallet is getting skinny, hopefully I will too. I will say that two months ago $100 would fill my buggy at wal mart, now it was only half full! I dont care though it is better for me and for my family, and when I look at my plate and eat my food I truly feel good about it. I am proud of the changes I’ve made and the food taste really good. I found that a good all around spice that has no sodium is Mrs. Dash, you can put it on anything. Also a warning ladies, if you are dieting using pre made frozen dinners I am sorry to say that they are loaded with sodium, one meal has around 800mg and if you multiply that 3x you are at your maximum sodium intake for the day so just be sure to check it there may be some that are lower in sodium. The only way I found to really keep my intake down is to eat as fresh as I can. I think I go down about 3 or 4 isle in the grocery store and that is it, yet it takes me twice as long to shop-LOL- go figure. Anyway good luck to you all. Love you guys!

My Stepmom and Dad visited yesterday and we were discussing my new healthy lifestyle. I was explaining my disappointment in gaining a pound when I work so hard to lose and my stepmom asked me what I ate and if I exercised. So I told her what I ate and how much and the same with exercise. Well she asked about my salt intake, wow never really thought about it. Well we went through my kitchen and checked it out. I take in on the average of 1500mg of salt a day just in the foods I eat, not counting the salt my hubby adds during cooking. One teaspoon of salt has 2300mg of sodium, that is the very most a person should be consuming in a day. I believe I am probabley retaining water from all the sodium. So now another lesson learned, buy fresh meat not frozen and dont add salt to your food. Now I just wonder how this will affect my wallet(I guess we will get skinny together. LOL). If anyone else is having the same troubles as myself check your sodium intake, anything not fresh has sodium cause it is a preservative.

Thanks for all of your support guys it means alot to me. I talked to my sister after I wrote my blog and she asked me why I was crying and I told her about the pound I had gained and her response was that I obsess to much. I do have a chronic problem with obsession, when I get my mind set on something I obsess about it to the point of it taking up my every minute. I think she may be right. I do log my food daily, that is the first thing I do when I get up is log what I will eat that day and I dont stray from it, then I come on here and blog, then I excercise and clean the house before hubby gets home. I will continue to do these things but I am going to throw out my scale. I am no longer going to have one in my house. I will just keep doing what I am doing but not for wieght loss but for health, and if I do lose I will see it in my clothes. I am not going to stress over goals of a certain size, wieght, or bm…my goals are going to simply be eat healthy and exercise 30 min a day 6x a week. Easily met and satisfied goals. I also am searching for employement to get off of my butt and contribute to the world. I love my kids and I want to be here for them every minute but my sanity is waivering and I think it best for all if I get out even part time to have a life outside my home and family. I will continue to blog cause I love it and i like helping others and love the support you have all given to me. Thanks again guys for being so supportive of someone you dont even know. There is kindness in this world.

Against everything I believe I got on the scale this morning. I have gained a pound!!!!! What is wrong with me? I cant afford to go to the doctor. I just want to stop eating all together, I hate food and I hate my stupid body! I am obsessed with getting thin and I am about to do whatever it takes. I cant take the disappointment, I work so hard at this-I really do. It is like working all week and expecting to make 200 dolllars at the end of it and you end up owing your boss 20 bucks. I dont understand why it has to be so hard. It isnt this hard to gain it. I am so mad and upset that I am taking it out on my family, this isnt fair. what do I have to do? Starve myself, puke up every meal? I dont know what else to do. I dont want to give up cause I want this soooo bad, I have always failed in this area before and everyone I know is expecting me to fail and I am. I cant afford wieght watchers or nutrisystem or a gym membership, I can barely afford the healthy food at the grocery store. All I have is my treadmill, I cant walk outside(not at a wieght loss pace) cause my children cant keep up, I cant do an aerobics tape at home cause my house isnt big enough and there isnt enough room. How are people doing it without exercising? I dont know. I just want to go to bed.