kellyluck

Thanks for all of your support guys it means alot to me. I talked to my sister after I wrote my blog and she asked me why I was crying and I told her about the pound I had gained and her response was that I obsess to much. I do have a chronic problem with obsession, when I get my mind set on something I obsess about it to the point of it taking up my every minute. I think she may be right. I do log my food daily, that is the first thing I do when I get up is log what I will eat that day and I dont stray from it, then I come on here and blog, then I excercise and clean the house before hubby gets home. I will continue to do these things but I am going to throw out my scale. I am no longer going to have one in my house. I will just keep doing what I am doing but not for wieght loss but for health, and if I do lose I will see it in my clothes. I am not going to stress over goals of a certain size, wieght, or bm…my goals are going to simply be eat healthy and exercise 30 min a day 6x a week. Easily met and satisfied goals. I also am searching for employement to get off of my butt and contribute to the world. I love my kids and I want to be here for them every minute but my sanity is waivering and I think it best for all if I get out even part time to have a life outside my home and family. I will continue to blog cause I love it and i like helping others and love the support you have all given to me. Thanks again guys for being so supportive of someone you dont even know. There is kindness in this world.

Against everything I believe I got on the scale this morning. I have gained a pound!!!!! What is wrong with me? I cant afford to go to the doctor. I just want to stop eating all together, I hate food and I hate my stupid body! I am obsessed with getting thin and I am about to do whatever it takes. I cant take the disappointment, I work so hard at this-I really do. It is like working all week and expecting to make 200 dolllars at the end of it and you end up owing your boss 20 bucks. I dont understand why it has to be so hard. It isnt this hard to gain it. I am so mad and upset that I am taking it out on my family, this isnt fair. what do I have to do? Starve myself, puke up every meal? I dont know what else to do. I dont want to give up cause I want this soooo bad, I have always failed in this area before and everyone I know is expecting me to fail and I am. I cant afford wieght watchers or nutrisystem or a gym membership, I can barely afford the healthy food at the grocery store. All I have is my treadmill, I cant walk outside(not at a wieght loss pace) cause my children cant keep up, I cant do an aerobics tape at home cause my house isnt big enough and there isnt enough room. How are people doing it without exercising? I dont know. I just want to go to bed.

Okay so here is my weekily regimen….Eat only 1200 calories of healthy food only, keeping my protien around 120g, my carbs around 120g, my fat under 30g, and my fiber around 25g. I walk uphill at 3 miles and hour for an hour which burns about 500 calories and I strength train about 2x a week. Oh yeh I also dont eat simple carbs, all my carbs are from fresh veggies, fruits and whole grains. Sounds great huh. So I get on the scale sunday morning wanting to reach my mini goal or at least bring myself a pound or two closer to it. Well the number shower no loss!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT? Now I am crying (literally)I made these changes as a life change and nothing is going to change that. I dont want to be sickly in my old age but I also did it to lose wieght. Why is it everyone else is losing 2-3lbs a week and I cant even lose 1? Even on celebrity fit club they lose 3 and up. This is so heartbreaking for me. It ruined my entire day and I stayed in bed for most of it trying to sleep off my sadness and disappointment. I dont resort to binging or eating bad foods, instead I go to bed and sleep. I need help I cant understand why I cant lose the wieght when everyone else is.

I see lots of people hitting there mini goals or near them. Mine seems sooooooo far away and I feel like I have been at this for a life time. I set it only 10lbs from my start wieght so I wouldn’t feel discouraged when it was to hard to reach-Haaaa. I should have set it one pound away from were I started, LOL. I feel like I am never going to get there. I know I always preach the slow and easy and do it to be healthy and I am but dang I just want to hit my mini goal is that to much to ask?

More and more I read these blogs and I see a pattern. The younger generation of buddyslimmers wanting to lose that 10-30lbs with little to no effort and as fast as they possibley can. I want to say you must stop this way of thinking now. I am sure the rest of my generation will agree that this is how most of us got as heavy as we are now. DIETS DONT WORK! Wieght loss is a life change, it takes dedication, education, and responsibility for your actions. If you insist on yoyo dieting I can assure you that in 10 even 20 yrs from now you will be back here and you will be alot heavier than you are now. You are at the perfect time in your life to do it right. You still are young and have the muscle mass that most of us have lost over the years due to inactivity, childbearing, and putting our families first. Educate yourselves on eating healthy, and exercise, exercise, exercise. If you put 30-60 minutes of exercise in your

Well I didn’t think I was losing anymore even though I have been working my butt off at this. I workout daily 3 miles in an hour and strength training a couple times a week. My daughter was measuring herself  this evening and I figured I would check myself while we were messing around and lo and behold I have lost another inch off of my waist!!! That is a total of 3 in off of my waist alone, I am so excited and inspired. I am going to do this, I can do this, and I will do this. My goal is a size 6/7 , I haven’t been that small since I was 19 and hadn’t had any children. I hope I am not setting an unreachable goal but it is what I truly want.

I almost did it…I almost got on the scale this morning but I stopped myself. I have been doing so good with my excercise    (60 min, 3 miles, 400 calories on the treadmill and every other day 40 min with Tony Little strength training) and my diet has been packed with good carb’s high protien and low fat calories totaling around 1200. So I was anxious to get on the scale and see if there has been a result but decided that I am feeling a little sore so there is possibility that I could have gained some muscle or could be retaining some fluid around those sore muscles. If I got on the scale and the number had risen I would be devestated that all my hard work was a waste of time so I am not going to risk it. I will just keep plugging along and let my clothes measure my success. I also wanted to give everyone a good motivational song…”Stronger Woman” by Jewel, very inspirational. Well that is about it. Have a great day everyone.

My husband came home this evening and I expressed my distress over not losing any wieght. He spun around and looked at me like I had two heads. I asked him what and he said you have lost alot of wieght. I said really? He said look down. So I did, and he said can you see your stomach? I said no, I actually couldn’t see it! He said see before your stomach was equal to your boobs and now it isn’t(amazing how guys size up wieght LOL). I was very happy that he had seen a difference in me. It is nice when others notice the results of our hard work. I truly feel better if anything at all and that is reason not to give up.  My birthday is tommorow and I am stopping the aging process here…I will not get any older than 39, I am going to exercise everyday, I am going to take a calcium supplement for my bones, and I am going to eat lots of fresh fruits, veggies and lean meat and fish for an all over healthy lifestyle! That is my gift to myself.

I have been on my best behavior this past week…took in my 1500cal of high protien low fat low complex carbs, excercised every day and drank my water most days. So why when I get on the scale there is no wieght loss. I see others on here losing 2-3 pounds every week. What am I doing wrong? I know the rule is you have to take in so many calories to burn the fat but I am seriously having a hard time believing that and breakfast too. I have been succesful in the past eating less calories and not having breakfast, my problem was I didn’t stick to watching what I ate. I lost the wieght and went right back to eating ice cream and candy and chips every night. I am by no means giving up because this is not a “diet” for me it is a healthy way of life but I think I am eating to many calories. Most of the time I find I am eating cause I have to, not because I am hungry. I am going to change that…I am going to plan out a 12oo cal day and if I find myself not hungry I am not eating and if I am still hungry after 1200 cal then I have left room for a healthy snack. Every week that I don’t lose puts my goal wieght another week back, I am 39 yrs old and would like to be fit and healthy before I am 40. To me every week is very important as is everday. If anyone has any secrets or advice please share. I have been on buddyslim for almost two months and have only lost 6lbs that is by far not good enough, even at 1-2 pounds a week that should put me at an 8-10 pound loss so I am 4 pounds behind. I need some help, real help. If you are losing 2-3 pounds a week please let me know what you are doing. Thanks.

Okay so I have been doing soooooo good all week on diet and exercise(very proud of myself)but I am having a dilemma. Breakfast. I am not hugry first thing in the morning, most of the time it is nearly lunch time before I feel hungry. I eat it anyway but my problem is this, by the end of the day I still feel somewhat hungry but have fulfilled my calories for the day. Aren’t we taught to not eat if we are not hungry. If I dont eat till I am hungry then I have calories left to fill me when I am hungry later. So isnt it better for me to just wait till I am hungry?